catswithbenefits:

im still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature

(Source: condomsareveryuseful)

(Source: joeseline)

(Source: agunfulloftigers)

(Source: condomsareveryuseful)

prehistorian:

stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat

(Source: easternbabe)

despicable-me:

Bob the Maid

Download

danglingthpider:

counterintuitivefangirl:

quazza:

what if bodies just had random errors like computers do

you go to receive your starbucks coffee and accidentally punch the barrista in the face then shit on the floor

What kind of fucking computer errors are you getting?

you on windows 8 then

mukuroikusaba:

gameglare:

i did a thing in response to an audio post

whAT DID I FUCKING START

positivemilk:

But mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card

despicable-me:

BEE-DO!

Download

itgoesagainstyouranatomy:

crrrash:

• you have never seen your own face, only reflections and pictures
• something is always touching you
• you can always see your nose
• your tongue never sits comfortably in your mouth
• you will never feel something exactly the same way someone else does
• you can’t imagine a new colour

Why would you fucking do that

missmaceymouse:

razzledazzy:

MOM HANDED ME A BIG ENVELOPE SAYING I GOT IT IN THE MAIL AND BEING A SMART ASS I SAID ‘WHAT IS IT FROM THE PRESIDENT’ AND IT’S FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE

APPARENTLY THEY SENT THIS BACK BECAUSE I WAS A SHIT AND INVITED THEM TO MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

SO if you mail your wedding invite to mickey and minnie you get a picture and congrats buttons back.. similar if you send a grad invite to obama….

(Source: kiyomei)